As For Me and My House

Proverbs 31 Bible Study

Month: May, 2012


I hope everyone was able to read and pray over last week’s verses Proverbs 31:1-9:

1 The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him.2 What, my son? and what, the son of my womb? and what, the son of my vows?3 Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.4 It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine; nor for princes strong drink:5 Lest they drink, and forget the law, and pervert the judgment of any of the afflicted.ss6 Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts.s7 Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more.8 Open thy mouth for the dumb in the cause of all such as are appointed to destruction.s9 Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy.

Quick Link to the Daily Reading Plan

As most of you know we are using the S.O.A.P. study method.  For a reference see the Study Guide.

Usually each week has Reflection Questions on Friday, however, last week we were just supposed to write down 3 goals that we have for this study.

This week we will be studying Proverbs 31:10-11 as well as pages 6-7 in The Proverbs 31 Woman:  One Virtue At A TIme.

Monday:  Proverbs 31:10 and Proverbs 12:4

Tuesday: Proverbs 18:22 and Proverbs 19:14

Wednesday:  Proverbs 31:11, Proverbs 11:28 and 28:26

Thursday:  16:20, 28:25 and 29:25

Friday:  Reflection Questions 

10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

Week 2 Challenge: This week focus on being a woman of noble character…a woman that your husband or future husband can take full confidence in! Remember: You and God are an amazing team together! Keep your eyes on Jesus, pray and ask Him to help you be the woman He created YOU to be! Ask Him for help……we can never become who He has created us to be without it! Pray and then ACT……..act upon what He shows you!:)

Trust is the first virtue on the list of virtues of the Proverbs 31 woman.

Let’s evaluate ourselves, confess any areas where we have fallen short, commit our weaknesses to prayer this week and make a change!

Praying for you all!

Love in Christ,



By Jen Smidt,

An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. – Proverbs 31:10

I often believe my husband has not found an excellent wife. When he tells me I have been short with him lately, overreacting and snapping unnecessarily, I am discouraged at my lack of excellence. Impatience and disrespect have brought embarrassment to him on several occasions.

My task-oriented, performance-driven heart attempts to fix itself by making a list: An excellent wife cooks with organic food (not Velveeta), sews her own clothing (or at least irons her husbands shirts!), speaks only words dripping with grace (and not sarcasm) and reads her Bible for hours on end (okay, minutes?!).

The list brings more condemnation; concrete evidence that I cannot be an excellent wife on my own.

While all of these things can be signs of excellence, they are definitely not requirements. Turning to Scripture for comfort and conviction, I am reminded: An excellent wife is not found but forged. No man goes out and finds a woman who is pure wife perfection and marries her. Neither of them truly know what that even looks like yet!
“It is the character of God, and not our husbands, that can be fully and firmly trusted. Our core identity must be anchored in Christ alone.”

A godly woman becomes an excellent wife as she understands she is made in the image of God, re-made in the image of Christ, and formed over a lifetime of repentance and redemption. Excellence is not measured by a to-do list; it is manifested in the life of a wife who knows Jesus intimately.

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones. – Proverbs 12:4

When I humbly and honestly assess the times I bring my husband shame, I am sobered by its destruction. To bring rottenness to his bones means mine are already disintegrating with unbelief and bitterness. We bring shame as wives when we:

Focus on our husband’s sin
Think our way is better, prioritizing ourselves over him
Speak harshly to him or derogatively about him to anyone
Withhold blessing, prayer, sex, or encouragement of any sort in an effort to punish, manipulate, or “get the message across”
The wife who brings shame to her husband is the daughter who does not truly know and trust her heavenly Father.

If the wife’s identity is centered around her man, she will certainly deliver shame when he disappoints – as he will inevitably do. It is the character of God, and not our husbands, that can be fully and firmly trusted. Our core identity must be anchored in Christ alone.

We are made precious by Jesus. This heart transformation is the basis for any preciousness that our husbands experience in us. It is not about what we do but what our precious Savior has done for us that graces us with the power to be excellent wives. We are helpless on our own.
“Excellence is not measured by a to-do list; it is manifested in the life of a wife who knows Jesus intimately.”

A godly wife understands that she is nothing outside of the saving grace of Jesus Christ and has no excellence apart from him. Christ’s grace and love are precious to her. Fueled by his riches, she will become a glorious crown to her husband as she helps, nurtures, and loves him from the depths of Christ’s righteousness in her.

It takes a 10-minute ceremony to become a wife. It takes a lifetime to become an excellent wife – one who understands that Christ’s shed blood on the cross is needed to offer excellence to our husbands.

-Jen Smidt,


Monday:  Proverbs 31:1-2, Page 5 of Proverbs 31:  One Virtue at a Time (ebook)

Example of S.O.A.P. Method:


1The sayings of King Lemuel—an inspired utterance his mother taught him.

2Listen, my son! Listen, son of my womb!
Listen, my son, the answer to my prayers! NIV


King Lemuel’s Mother loved her son very much and wanted the very best for him.  She wanted him to listen carefully and to heed her advice so that he could have the very best life had to offer him.

A. (Application)-

We should listen to the wisdom of those in authority overus (such as parents) or of those older than we are (both in the age or spiritual maturity).  This ties in well to Titus 2:3-5:

Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.  –Titus 2:3-5

Proverbs 31, gives Christian women a wonderful list of virtues to strive for in our personal lives and to look to the older wiser women in our lives (in age and spiritual maturity).  We, as the younger and more spiritually immature should look to the older more mature women in our lives, in the same way that King Lemuel looked to his mother.

P.(Prayer) – 

Heavenly Father,  Thank you so much for the opportunity to study your Word.  Please open my heart to what you would have me learn from today’s scripture.  Please give me opportunities to look to older Christian women and learn from them.  Thank you for placing them in my life.  Life can sometimes be so challenging, but I am not the first to travel down this road, and I want to learn from others.  I want to be the wife and mother that you would have me be Lord.  Please show me the way.  Amen

Tuesday:  Proverbs 31:3-4

Wednesday:  Proverbs 31:5-6

Thursday:  31:7-9

Friday:  Write out and share your goals

***PLEASE SHARE ALL OR PART OF YOUR S.O.A.P Method Below under “Leave a Reply”***

Love in Christ,

“Is the Proverbs 31 Woman For Real?

{Have you ever wondered – “Who is this nameless, perfect woman that Solomon writes about in Proverbs 31? Is she for real?” The answer is “no” and “yes”. Let me explain.

Once upon a time there was a prince who would one day be a King. While he was young his mother wisely trained her son on how to find a virtuous wife. She went through the alphabet one letter at a time giving him attributes that he was to seek out in his future wife. Using the alphabet in this manner made it easier for her son to remember and even perhaps memorize what he was looking for in his dream wife. And thus, we have the writings of Proverbs 31 – except this is not a fairy tale!

So is she for real? Does she have a name? No. Proverbs 31:1 says “The sayings of King Lemuel – an oracle his mother taught him…” and then verses 2-9 are instructions on how to be a Godly King. She taught him to be on guard against promiscuity and drunkenness and encouraged him to tend to the poor. Then in verses 10-31 she instructs him on how to find the perfect Godly wife – she has no name – just a superior character.

But I must ask… would King Lemuel’s mother give him detailed instructions on what to look for in a wife if there were no women who could possibly have this kind of character? In verse 10 we will see that she is a rare treasure – but she does exist. Does that give you hope – or does it overwhelm you to even attempt to reach for such excellence?

Mandi at Capitol Heights Mom has discussed the Proverbs 31 woman on Women Living Well’s message board. She posted a blog on this and I completely relate to her sentiments when she wrote:

“Let’s see… I do not like getting up while it is dark. I wouldn’t know how to buy a field or a vineyard. I like to go to sleep very early when possible. I can be quite lazy at times. I definitely couldn’t even begin to patch a hole in my husband’s pants let alone actually sew some new creation. I wish every word out of my mouth was wise, but my husband can attest to my lack of common sense; and I am not always sure if my husband has full confidence in me. (Although if asked I am sure he would say, “Of course I do!”)”.

She said exactly what I was thinking the first time I read Proverbs 31! And I love her six conclusions from her study of the Proverbs 31 woman!

Her post sparked something inside of me – and gave me a desire to begin a series here on my blog going verse by verse through Proverbs 31. I want to go one verse at a time, one virtue at a time – and encourage you to master one verse and virtue at a time – with God’s help, it truly is possible for you to be her! } (The Proverbs 31 Woman:  One Virtue at a Time, Page 5)

Welcome Friends!

Thank you all so much for joining in on this study!

The method I have learned to use from is a simple, slow method. The point is to fully meditate and take in each and every word in the passage for the day.

Psalm 1:2,3 says: Blessed is the man whose “delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.”

True meditation takes time to chew on the passage before moving on.

William Gurnall writes: “Remember, it is not hasty reading-­‐ but serious meditating upon holy and heavenly truths, that make them prove sweet and profitable to the soul. It is not the bee’s touching of the flower, which gathers honey-­‐ but her abiding for a time upon the flower, which draws out the sweet. It is not he who reads most-­‐ but he who meditates most, who will prove the choicest, sweetest, wisest and strongest Christian.” – William Gurnall, The Christian in Complete Armour

What do you need?

1.  The Bible

2.  A prayer journal

3.  Your computer

What is the SOAP Method that the Good Morning Girls use?

Get out your Bible and begin:

1. S-­‐ Write out the scripture passage for the day.

2. O-­‐ Write down 1 or 2 observations from the passage.

3. A-­‐ Write down 1-­‐2 applications from the passage.

4. P-­‐ Pray over what you learned from today’s passage.

By the end of the study, you will have written out the entire 31st Chapter of Proverbs in your prayer journal. You will have meditated on every single verse as you have written it out and pondered verse bit by bit.

Some days you feel like you are done quickly. Other days it will take a little more time to complete the day’s assignment. When you finish with your work quickly, I encourage you to stop by our blog, As For Me And My House, to share with the group.

We will begin The Proverbs 31 Woman:  One Virtue At A Time Study Monday, May 21.  You may want to print off the Reading Plan and keep it in your prayer journal.  You can do the devotion whatever time of day fits into your schedule.

See you back here on Monday!

Love in Christ,


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