As For Me and My House

Proverbs 31 Bible Study



This week we are reading:

Proverbs 31:15-16
She gets up while it is still dark;
She provides food for her family
And portions for her servant girls.
She considers a filed and buys it;
Out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.


(If you cannot see this video click here.)

We see in verse 15, the Proverbs 31 woman gets up early and organizes her day! She is proactive instead of reactive!

We see in verse 16, the Proverbs 31 woman is wise with her money! She considers how she should spend her money before she actually does!

So far in Proverbs 31 we see that the Proverbs 31 woman is a wife of noble character, she has a husband who has full confidence in her, she brings him good all the days of her life, she selects and works with eager hands and she brings her food from afar.

This week we will see that one of the ways she is able to accomplish so much is because she rises early! She plans what she will feed her family for the day and organizes her day before the rest of her family begins theirs.

She believes that productive mornings = easier days.

Our challenge this week:

Rise before your family!!! Come on girls I know YOU can do it!!! I know it’s hard! It’s hard for me too, but lets focus this week and RISE before our family does…..before our kids do! Let’s rise, have our quiet time and organize our day BEFORE it starts!!! Pray this week for strength and the discipline to rise early! Also pray about your finances and ask God for wisdom to help you make wise choices concerning how you spend the money He has given you.


What are some ways you can make your days easier by getting up before your family?


Love God Greatly!




Photo credit

Welcome back to week 3 in our Proverbs 31 series.

Today we are up to verses 12,13, & 14 – they say:

12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.

(If you cannot see this video click here.)

We see in verse 12, the Proverbs 31 woman stays true to her marriage vows. She is with her husband all the days of her life.

We see in verse 13, her attitude towards work. She works with eager hands!

And we see in verse 14, that the very basic necessity of feeding her family is a task that she does with great attention and care.She is like a merchant ship – who travels off to distant places and brings in unique cargo that you can’t just get at the corner store.

Recently my husband replaced our 15 year old washing machine because it had broken. So he asked me how it was working for me just this past Wednesday…it just so happened that while I was doing laundry that day, I paused, prayed and thanked God for my washing machine. I am so sincerely thankful for my washer and my 15 year old dryer. I was able to tell my husband, “I am overflowing with joy for it – I thanked God for it today!” and I thanked him for buying it for me.

In the same way, often times after grocery shopping – I pop my trunk and just pause and say a prayer of thankfulness for the trunk full of food. I have had my kids, right in the grocery store, say a sentence prayer while waiting in line – thanking God for our cart of groceries.

When we come to a massive mound of dirty laundry that we are about to tackle, I believe that pausing and thanking God that our family has all these clothes can change our perspective and help us come to our tasks with eager hands.

Our challenge this week:

Look at the menial tasks of doing laundry, grocery shopping and cooking as a noble task that God has called us to. Come to these tasks with an eager attitude. If this is a struggle for you – pray and ask God to help you. Get on your knees and thank God that he has provided for our basic needs of clothing and food and never stop giving thanks! Bring your kids along side of you and let them offer up a prayer of thanksgiving too.

Walk with the King,


I hope everyone read and was able to reflect on last week’s reading, Proverbs 31: 10-11 and the additional verses.  I wanted to post last Friday, however, my family has been a little under the weather and my internet has been giving me a fit!!!  I have actually typed this post 3 times!!  I lost it twice, due to a poor signal…

I know that all of us are so busy.  It does take a lot of discipline to stick to a study like this, and I commend you all for checking in with the blog and sticking to the readings…even if it does mean playing catch up every few days! 😉

Ok, so where were we…Friday’s Discussion Questions:

1.  One important lesson I want to remember from this (last) week’s reading would be:

For me this would definitely be from Proverbs 31, verse 11:

Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value. NIV

To me this means that I am responsible for taking care of “my duties”.  Do you have things around the house that you are responsible for?  Not just because you are a female and it’s a “woman’s duty” to take care of, but more so because you are just naturally better at such things, and your family “works” more smoothly when you take care of them rather than someone else.  Well I do, and sometimes when I don’t prioritize my day to get these thing done as I should, I am caught trying to play catch up for days!

2.  Is there anything God has laid upon your heart this week that you need to change?  Ask God to help you be the wife and mother (future wife and/or future mother) He has made you to be!  With God’s help we can be this!

When I read Proverbs 31:11, I felt that I should guard my emotions and attitude throughout the day. I know you have all heard the saying “if Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy”….well for most of us, we are the “Mama”.  We are responsible for the mood in our homes.  That is a tremendous amount of responsibility, especially if we have young children because we are helping to shape their disposition and outlook on life.  From time to time I have gotten so caught up in “me” and how my day went, at work or with the children, when I am talking to my husband in the evenings, I don’t think about how this may be affecting his mood.  He should have full trust  and confidence in me to take my issues to my Heavenly Father, and allow him to speak peace into my heart.  My husband should have full confidence in me to guard my emotions, so that I won’t bring further conflict or emotional strife into our home.

4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Philippians Chapter 4 NIV

3.  No woman is perfect and we all make mistakes, but is there any area of your life that you struggle with?  If so, go to God.  Seek his help and wisdom.  If you feel your husband doesn’t have full confidence in you, talk with him about it.  Pray with him and try to make those changes.

I found that by asking my husband “What is at least one thing that I can do everyday to help you, or to make your day better that I’m not doing” is a good start to further serve our husbands.  Sometimes it’s something very simple that we as wives can do but we have somehow overlooked.  It may make the biggest difference in their day!  Who knows, when you ask them…they may even ask you in return 😉

4.  I am going to be more intentional by:

Being kind to my husband.

Let’s take a look a the meaning of intentional, something done on purpose.  Why would we need to make a special effort to be kind.  Well I do…..even though I am not really unkind.  I am nice to everyone I meet outside of my home, but in my home I feel like I am being nice, but a lot of times I have so much on my mind, ESPECIALLY since having the twins, that I catch myself blurting out something for my husband to do to help me.  The truth is, I’m moving at such a fast pace trying to care for my babies or do something around the house, that I’m trying to tell him before I forget and move on to the next task.  I don’t mean any harm, I’m usually not in a bad mood at all, but my tone says otherwise. I just need to slow down, be INTENTIONAL, tack on a “please” and “thank you”…..and work on that gentle, quiet spirit that the Bible tells us to have in I Peter.  This is a tough one!!

3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves.   I Peter 3:4 NIV

Please share your thoughts on the discussion questions if you would like.  I would love to know what in on your heart…


“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” ~ Proverbs 27:17~

Love in Christ,


I hope everyone was able to read and pray over last week’s verses Proverbs 31:1-9:

1 The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him.2 What, my son? and what, the son of my womb? and what, the son of my vows?3 Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.4 It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine; nor for princes strong drink:5 Lest they drink, and forget the law, and pervert the judgment of any of the afflicted.ss6 Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts.s7 Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more.8 Open thy mouth for the dumb in the cause of all such as are appointed to destruction.s9 Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy.

Quick Link to the Daily Reading Plan

As most of you know we are using the S.O.A.P. study method.  For a reference see the Study Guide.

Usually each week has Reflection Questions on Friday, however, last week we were just supposed to write down 3 goals that we have for this study.

This week we will be studying Proverbs 31:10-11 as well as pages 6-7 in The Proverbs 31 Woman:  One Virtue At A TIme.

Monday:  Proverbs 31:10 and Proverbs 12:4

Tuesday: Proverbs 18:22 and Proverbs 19:14

Wednesday:  Proverbs 31:11, Proverbs 11:28 and 28:26

Thursday:  16:20, 28:25 and 29:25

Friday:  Reflection Questions 

10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

Week 2 Challenge: This week focus on being a woman of noble character…a woman that your husband or future husband can take full confidence in! Remember: You and God are an amazing team together! Keep your eyes on Jesus, pray and ask Him to help you be the woman He created YOU to be! Ask Him for help……we can never become who He has created us to be without it! Pray and then ACT……..act upon what He shows you!:)

Trust is the first virtue on the list of virtues of the Proverbs 31 woman.

Let’s evaluate ourselves, confess any areas where we have fallen short, commit our weaknesses to prayer this week and make a change!

Praying for you all!

Love in Christ,


By Jen Smidt,

An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. – Proverbs 31:10

I often believe my husband has not found an excellent wife. When he tells me I have been short with him lately, overreacting and snapping unnecessarily, I am discouraged at my lack of excellence. Impatience and disrespect have brought embarrassment to him on several occasions.

My task-oriented, performance-driven heart attempts to fix itself by making a list: An excellent wife cooks with organic food (not Velveeta), sews her own clothing (or at least irons her husbands shirts!), speaks only words dripping with grace (and not sarcasm) and reads her Bible for hours on end (okay, minutes?!).

The list brings more condemnation; concrete evidence that I cannot be an excellent wife on my own.

While all of these things can be signs of excellence, they are definitely not requirements. Turning to Scripture for comfort and conviction, I am reminded: An excellent wife is not found but forged. No man goes out and finds a woman who is pure wife perfection and marries her. Neither of them truly know what that even looks like yet!
“It is the character of God, and not our husbands, that can be fully and firmly trusted. Our core identity must be anchored in Christ alone.”

A godly woman becomes an excellent wife as she understands she is made in the image of God, re-made in the image of Christ, and formed over a lifetime of repentance and redemption. Excellence is not measured by a to-do list; it is manifested in the life of a wife who knows Jesus intimately.

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones. – Proverbs 12:4

When I humbly and honestly assess the times I bring my husband shame, I am sobered by its destruction. To bring rottenness to his bones means mine are already disintegrating with unbelief and bitterness. We bring shame as wives when we:

Focus on our husband’s sin
Think our way is better, prioritizing ourselves over him
Speak harshly to him or derogatively about him to anyone
Withhold blessing, prayer, sex, or encouragement of any sort in an effort to punish, manipulate, or “get the message across”
The wife who brings shame to her husband is the daughter who does not truly know and trust her heavenly Father.

If the wife’s identity is centered around her man, she will certainly deliver shame when he disappoints – as he will inevitably do. It is the character of God, and not our husbands, that can be fully and firmly trusted. Our core identity must be anchored in Christ alone.

We are made precious by Jesus. This heart transformation is the basis for any preciousness that our husbands experience in us. It is not about what we do but what our precious Savior has done for us that graces us with the power to be excellent wives. We are helpless on our own.
“Excellence is not measured by a to-do list; it is manifested in the life of a wife who knows Jesus intimately.”

A godly wife understands that she is nothing outside of the saving grace of Jesus Christ and has no excellence apart from him. Christ’s grace and love are precious to her. Fueled by his riches, she will become a glorious crown to her husband as she helps, nurtures, and loves him from the depths of Christ’s righteousness in her.

It takes a 10-minute ceremony to become a wife. It takes a lifetime to become an excellent wife – one who understands that Christ’s shed blood on the cross is needed to offer excellence to our husbands.

-Jen Smidt,


Monday:  Proverbs 31:1-2, Page 5 of Proverbs 31:  One Virtue at a Time (ebook)

Example of S.O.A.P. Method:


1The sayings of King Lemuel—an inspired utterance his mother taught him.

2Listen, my son! Listen, son of my womb!
Listen, my son, the answer to my prayers! NIV


King Lemuel’s Mother loved her son very much and wanted the very best for him.  She wanted him to listen carefully and to heed her advice so that he could have the very best life had to offer him.

A. (Application)-

We should listen to the wisdom of those in authority overus (such as parents) or of those older than we are (both in the age or spiritual maturity).  This ties in well to Titus 2:3-5:

Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.  –Titus 2:3-5

Proverbs 31, gives Christian women a wonderful list of virtues to strive for in our personal lives and to look to the older wiser women in our lives (in age and spiritual maturity).  We, as the younger and more spiritually immature should look to the older more mature women in our lives, in the same way that King Lemuel looked to his mother.

P.(Prayer) – 

Heavenly Father,  Thank you so much for the opportunity to study your Word.  Please open my heart to what you would have me learn from today’s scripture.  Please give me opportunities to look to older Christian women and learn from them.  Thank you for placing them in my life.  Life can sometimes be so challenging, but I am not the first to travel down this road, and I want to learn from others.  I want to be the wife and mother that you would have me be Lord.  Please show me the way.  Amen

Tuesday:  Proverbs 31:3-4

Wednesday:  Proverbs 31:5-6

Thursday:  31:7-9

Friday:  Write out and share your goals

***PLEASE SHARE ALL OR PART OF YOUR S.O.A.P Method Below under “Leave a Reply”***

Love in Christ,

“Is the Proverbs 31 Woman For Real?

{Have you ever wondered – “Who is this nameless, perfect woman that Solomon writes about in Proverbs 31? Is she for real?” The answer is “no” and “yes”. Let me explain.

Once upon a time there was a prince who would one day be a King. While he was young his mother wisely trained her son on how to find a virtuous wife. She went through the alphabet one letter at a time giving him attributes that he was to seek out in his future wife. Using the alphabet in this manner made it easier for her son to remember and even perhaps memorize what he was looking for in his dream wife. And thus, we have the writings of Proverbs 31 – except this is not a fairy tale!

So is she for real? Does she have a name? No. Proverbs 31:1 says “The sayings of King Lemuel – an oracle his mother taught him…” and then verses 2-9 are instructions on how to be a Godly King. She taught him to be on guard against promiscuity and drunkenness and encouraged him to tend to the poor. Then in verses 10-31 she instructs him on how to find the perfect Godly wife – she has no name – just a superior character.

But I must ask… would King Lemuel’s mother give him detailed instructions on what to look for in a wife if there were no women who could possibly have this kind of character? In verse 10 we will see that she is a rare treasure – but she does exist. Does that give you hope – or does it overwhelm you to even attempt to reach for such excellence?

Mandi at Capitol Heights Mom has discussed the Proverbs 31 woman on Women Living Well’s message board. She posted a blog on this and I completely relate to her sentiments when she wrote:

“Let’s see… I do not like getting up while it is dark. I wouldn’t know how to buy a field or a vineyard. I like to go to sleep very early when possible. I can be quite lazy at times. I definitely couldn’t even begin to patch a hole in my husband’s pants let alone actually sew some new creation. I wish every word out of my mouth was wise, but my husband can attest to my lack of common sense; and I am not always sure if my husband has full confidence in me. (Although if asked I am sure he would say, “Of course I do!”)”.

She said exactly what I was thinking the first time I read Proverbs 31! And I love her six conclusions from her study of the Proverbs 31 woman!

Her post sparked something inside of me – and gave me a desire to begin a series here on my blog going verse by verse through Proverbs 31. I want to go one verse at a time, one virtue at a time – and encourage you to master one verse and virtue at a time – with God’s help, it truly is possible for you to be her! } (The Proverbs 31 Woman:  One Virtue at a Time, Page 5)

Welcome Friends!

Thank you all so much for joining in on this study!

The method I have learned to use from is a simple, slow method. The point is to fully meditate and take in each and every word in the passage for the day.

Psalm 1:2,3 says: Blessed is the man whose “delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.”

True meditation takes time to chew on the passage before moving on.

William Gurnall writes: “Remember, it is not hasty reading-­‐ but serious meditating upon holy and heavenly truths, that make them prove sweet and profitable to the soul. It is not the bee’s touching of the flower, which gathers honey-­‐ but her abiding for a time upon the flower, which draws out the sweet. It is not he who reads most-­‐ but he who meditates most, who will prove the choicest, sweetest, wisest and strongest Christian.” – William Gurnall, The Christian in Complete Armour

What do you need?

1.  The Bible

2.  A prayer journal

3.  Your computer

What is the SOAP Method that the Good Morning Girls use?

Get out your Bible and begin:

1. S-­‐ Write out the scripture passage for the day.

2. O-­‐ Write down 1 or 2 observations from the passage.

3. A-­‐ Write down 1-­‐2 applications from the passage.

4. P-­‐ Pray over what you learned from today’s passage.

By the end of the study, you will have written out the entire 31st Chapter of Proverbs in your prayer journal. You will have meditated on every single verse as you have written it out and pondered verse bit by bit.

Some days you feel like you are done quickly. Other days it will take a little more time to complete the day’s assignment. When you finish with your work quickly, I encourage you to stop by our blog, As For Me And My House, to share with the group.

We will begin The Proverbs 31 Woman:  One Virtue At A Time Study Monday, May 21.  You may want to print off the Reading Plan and keep it in your prayer journal.  You can do the devotion whatever time of day fits into your schedule.

See you back here on Monday!

Love in Christ,


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